TRY
A LITTLE TENDERNESS
Sometimes we do not
achieve positive relational results because of our erroneous assumptions.
A conflict
counselor was enlisted by a parish priest to resolve a long-standing
problem. The relationship between the priest and the parochial school
principal had deteriorated to the point where they could no longer communicate.
The conflict counselor prepared them for a face-to-face meeting with the
follow instruction: “Before we get together, I want both of you to write down
what you think the problems are in your relationship.”
The principal and
the priest arrived at their first meeting and sat opposite one another.
The counselor asked them to read their lists.
The priest
described the problem from his point of view. “I feel that the principal
resents my presence in the school. I would like to play a larger role but
feel I can’t. I’d especially like to be more involved in religious
education, but I feel pushed out.”
The principal then
read his assessment of the situation. “I feel the priest doesn’t want to get involved
in the school. For the life of me, I can’t understand why he feels that
way because we desperately need him, especially in religious education.”
Wow! So much
of human conflict has its origins in false or negative impressions of the other
person. Wouldn’t it be far better if we were to see others through the
empathetic eyes of grace and mercy, as GOD sees us?
It reminds me of a
historic setback for Standard Oil. It
was one of the largest companies in the world, led by the wealthy
industrialist, John D Rockefeller. One company executive made a bad
business decision that cost the firm two million dollars, a huge sum in the
late 1800s.
A corporate partner,
Edward Bedford, had an appointment to see Mr. Rockefeller. When he
entered Rockefeller’s office, he saw his boss at his desk, bent over a piece of
paper, busily scribbling notes. Mr. Rockefeller finally looked up and
said to Bedford, “I suppose you’ve heard about our loss? I’ve been
thinking it over,” Rockefeller said. “Before I ask the man in to discuss
the matter, I’ve been making some notes.”
Bedford looked
across the table and saw the page Rockefeller had been scribbling on.
Across the top of the page was the heading, “Positive Points
in Favor of Mr. _____.” Below that heading was a long list of the
employee’s good qualities, including specific notes about three occasions where
he had made decisions that earned the company many times more than the losses
from his recent error.
Bedford never
forgot that strategic and gracious lesson. He remarked, “Whenever I am
tempted to rip into anyone, I force myself first to sit down and thoughtfully
compile as long a list of that person’s good points as I possibly can.
Invariably, by the time I finish this personal inventory, I see the
matter in its true perspective and keep my temper in check.”
What about US?
There are many situations that have the potential to annoy us on a daily
basis. However, JESUS CHRIST admonishes us to handle potential setbacks
with wisdom, compassion and patience. In fact, according to Jesus, “In
your patience you possess your souls.” (Luke 21:19)
So, when we are
tempted to fly off the handle and react too swiftly or strongly, let’s just
pause for a moment. Let’s take a deep breath and THINK.
What should we
think about?
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things
are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever
things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good
report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these
things.
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