FORGIVENESS IS MISSION CRITICAL

FORGIVENESS IS MISSION CRITICAL

There is a fascinating story-beneath-the-stories in the Acts of the Apostles.  Its principal characters are Paul, Barnabas and Mark.  The sub-plot involves hurt, disappointment, separation, reconciliation and forgiveness.  Before I explore details of this story, allow me to make one important observation.  If you have never been disappointed by the actions of others (or by your own actions), you are likely living in that gray neutral zone where you neither experience failure nor defeat because you have been paralyzed by fear and steadfastly refuse to embrace new relationships and/or new experiences.  Think about it. 

Disappointment and pain are part and parcel of the human experience.  

However, the downside of constantly focusing on the twin human experiences of disappointment and pain is eventual frustration.  If there is anything worse than unresolved anger with others, it is an inward rage at one’s own self for never trying, never failing and thus never succeeding.  Over time, inward frustrations and negative feelings become festering wounds; and, festering wounds are extremely dangerous wounds.  Since you must eat from the garden of your own inner thoughts, don’t grow anything there that you don’t want to consume, or be consumed by.  You and I must learn how to forgive other ‘HUMAN’ beings; and, our very first step toward accepting the clay feet of others is learning how to forgive ourselves for past errors, indiscretions and transgressions.

Now, on to our story.  Barnabas was the traveling companion of the Apostle Paul and an accomplished co-laborer in the gospel.  Mark was the nephew of Barnabas, and he dearly loved traveling with the great evangelist, Paul, and his ministry partner, Uncle Barnabas.  Perhaps, there was no kinder person in the New Testament than Barnabas.  We can infer much about the character of Barnabas from his name, which means “son of encouragement.”  On the other hand, Paul, the New Testament’s greatest missionary and most prolific author, might have seemed rather rigid and inflexible to the youthful Mark.

During one of Paul’s missionary journeys, a course correction moved them inland from Pamphylia to a place that was known to be quite dangerous.  Young Mark spoke loudly by his actions: ‘NO, this place isn’t for me, and this is as far as I’m going!’  Therefore, Mark took the ‘first flight’ home, to a more secure environment.

Later on, as Paul was planning his next evangelistic expedition, Uncle Barnabas wanted to take Nephew Mark along again.  In so many words, Paul said “Absolutely not – he failed us before and might fail us again!”  Paul and Barnabas ended up separating because of their divergent views on this matter and the disagreement that followed.  Nevertheless, I love how the story ends.  In the twilight of Paul’s life, while he was on death row in Rome awaiting execution by Emperor Nero, it was Mark who served as the courier for important spiritual letters penned by the apostle.  Paul had apparently forgiven Mark and true reconciliation had occurred.  The apostle not only spoke highly of Mark, but he fully trusted him with the delivery of epistles that were destined to become a prominent part of The New Testament.  Wow!

I believe that Mark must have been on Paul’s heart when the Holy Spirit inspired him to write the following: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

True biblical forgiveness not only pardons the offense, but FULLY RESTORES THE OFFENDER.  All of us have heard this saying, “I will FORGIVE, but I will NEVER FORGET.”  To be completely transparent, I have spoken those words myself.  But in my times of true spiritual self-examination, I had to ask myself an important question: ‘LORD, AM I TRULY FORGIVING IF I AM WILLFULLY HOLDING ONTO AND HARBORING THE MEMORY OF ANOTHER PERSON’S MISDEED?’  The emphasis here is on “willfully” since we do not have complete control the autonomic brain function of memory.  Only GOD can truly forget.  I love Hebrews 10:17, where God declares: “Their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” Albeit, since we lack the capacity to completely forget, we must, as AN ACT OF OUR WILL, make the decision not to continually replay the act of offense, either through our private meditations or spoken words.  Forgiveness is mission critical to our emotional, spiritual and physical health.  How so?  When you deeply reflect on Christ’s mandate to forgive, you will come to this revelatory understanding:

FORGIVENESS IS UNLOCKING THE DOOR TO SET SOMEONE FREE AND REALIZING YOU WERE THE PRISONER.

FORGIVENESS IS A PROCESS.  It may not occur instantaneously, but it will surely manifest in application of one’s will to be healed and move forward in healthy relationships.

Here are some practical steps in the PROCESS OF FORGIVING:

1. Honestly confess to God your true feelings about the offense and the offender, and ask for His help.
2. As much as humanly possible, stop replaying the act of offense in the mental loop of your thoughts.
3. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts from The Word.  Speak and declare only what The Word speaks and declares about the situation and about the person.
4. Pray often for the offending party.
5. Refuse to be drawn into gossip pertaining to the offense or the offender.
6. Try to reflect on the good qualities or characteristics of the offending party, and speak them aloud, both to yourself and to others.
7. Greet the offending party with sincerity and love.  You do not have to hold extensive conversation with them just yet, but you will eventually ‘feel better’ if you do not try to avoid them.
8. Always consider your own flaws and imperfections.  This will keep you humble and more likely to forgive the flaws and imperfections of others.

Finally, we must never forget one mission critical spiritual reality: 

GOD FORGIVES US IN THE SAME MANNER THAT WE FORGIVE OTHERS. (Matthew 6:12;15)

In closing, I am firmly convinced that strife, ill-will and division were designed in hell and deployed as satanic tools to nullify our ability to be unified and cohesive families, both naturally and spiritually.  Remember this: FAMILIES ARE THE BASIC BUILDING-BLOCKS OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD.  Our God seeks to transform and show-off our human relationships as clear and powerful reflections of divine love.  To wit, God’s power is on display in us.  When we fail to forgive, we bring energy and joy to the powers of darkness.  When we engage purposefully, prayerfully and lovingly in the process of forgiveness, our God smiles and divine favor rests upon us and those whom we encounter.  

GENUINE FORGIVENESS manifests and maximizes kingdom.  as such, forgiveness is MISSION CRITICAL to all we were designed to BE (and DO) in the perfect plan and purpose of God.

Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING.  Maranatha!