TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS
Pastor Robert L. Smith shared
an interesting story after today’s church service. He works with public school children, some of
whom are experiencing difficult behavioral challenges. A while back, one of his students was
completely out of control, absolutely refusing to comport himself with orderly classroom
conduct. Instead of raising his voice,
or berating the student in some way, Pastor Smith wisely employed an
alternative technique. He simply smiled
and said, “I think what you really need is a hug!” Immediately, the young boy broke out into a
broad grin. He hugged his mentor
affectionately and thereafter made radical adjustments in his behavior.
Sometimes we do not achieve
positive relational results because of our erroneous assumptions.
A conflict counselor was
enlisted by a parish priest to resolve a long-standing problem. The relationship between the priest and the parochial
school principal had deteriorated to the point where they could no longer
communicate. The conflict counselor prepared
them for a face-to-face meeting with the follow instruction: “Before we get
together, I want both of you to write down what you think the problems are in
your relationship.”
The principal and the priest arrived at their first meeting and sat
opposite one another. The counselor asked
them to read their lists.
The priest described the problem from his point of view. “I feel
that the principal resents my presence in the school. I would like to play a larger role but feel I
can’t. I’d especially like to be more
involved in religious education, but I feel pushed out.”
The principal then read his assessment of the situation. “I feel
the priest doesn’t want to get involved in the school. For the life of me, I can’t understand why he
feels that way because we desperately need him, especially in religious
education.”
Wow! So much of conflict has its origins in false
or negative impressions of the other person.
Wouldn’t it be much better if we were to see others through the empathetic
eyes of grace and mercy, as GOD sees us?
It reminds me of a historic
setback for Standard Oil, then one of the largest companies in the world, led by
the wealthy industrialist, John D Rockefeller. A company executive had made a bad business
decision that cost the firm two million dollars, a huge sum in the late 1800s.
A corporate partners, Edward Bedford, had an appointment to see Mr.
Rockefeller. When he entered
Rockefeller’s office, he saw his boss at his desk, bent over a piece of paper,
busily scribbling notes. Mr. Rockefeller
finally looked up and said to Bedford, “I suppose you’ve heard about our
loss? I’ve been thinking it over,” Rockefeller
said. “Before I ask the man in to
discuss the matter, I’ve been making some notes.”
Bedford looked across the table and saw the page Rockefeller had
been scribbling on. Across the top of
the page was the heading, “Positive Points in Favor of Mr. ____.” Below that heading was a long list of the employee’s
good qualities, including specific notes about three occasions where he made
decisions that earned the company many times more than the losses from his
recent error.
Bedford never forgot that strategic and gracious lesson. He remarked, “Whenever I am tempted to rip
into anyone, I force myself first to sit down and thoughtfully compile as long
a list of that person’s good points as I possibly can. Invariably, by the time I finish this personal
inventory, I see the matter in its true perspective and keep my temper in check.”
What about US? There are hundreds of things that have the
potential to annoy us on a daily basis.
However, JESUS CHRIST admonishes us to handle potential setbacks with
wisdom, compassion and patience. In
fact, according to Jesus, “In your patience you possess your souls.” (Luke
21:19)
So when we are tempted to fly
off the handle and react too swiftly or strongly, let’s just pause for a
moment. Let’s take a deep breath and
THINK. What should we think about?
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren,
whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are
just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever
things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise,
think on these things.
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