20 THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE BECOMING A PASTOR

20 THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE BECOMING A PASTOR

Recently, I came across an intriguing article written by Brandon Hilgemann.  Although many of our devotional readers are not pastors (yet many are), the perspective set forth in Pastor Hilgemann’s article is beneficial for the prayerful consideration of both clergy and laity.  It is a lengthy treatise, but it is printed below in its entirety for your perusal.

Let’s cut the fluff and get real for a moment.  Being a pastor is incredibly difficult.

The church is often guilty of only painting a picture of the wonderful blessings of being called to ministry—like it only gets better and better, day after day.

We somehow forget to talk about the suffering involved.  Did we forget, or are afraid people won’t go into ministry if they know the truth?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there are some things we are failing to prepare new pastors for.  Here are some things I wish someone would have sat down and told the 20-year-old me.  I have spent the last decade learning most of these things the hard way:

Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Pastor:

1.        It will be the hardest thing you ever do.  Seriously, it is really, really, really hard! Imagine the most difficult thing you have done and multiply it by a hundred.  That may be close to how challenging ministry can be.  If you want to be a pastor because it sounds fun or easy, do something else.

2.       Integrity and a love for Christ are important but insufficient.  You must be able to lead people.  Your character and love for Christ are the requirements for entry.  These are crucial and more important than anything.  However, no matter how godly you are, if you cannot lead people, you will struggle.

3.       People may avoid you, and act weird simply because you are a pastor.  People will act one way when you are around, and another when you aren’t.  Others will avoid you because you represent God, and they feel guilty.  This is why many pastors dread the inevitable question when meeting someone new: “So, what do you do for a living?”

4.       People will expect you to be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  You will get midnight phone calls and texts.  Some will be urgent; others can wait.  You must set boundaries in your schedule because a pastor’s job is never finished.

5.       Workaholism will be rewarded, but it can destroy your family.  Pastors who work too much get praises and raises…until their family falls apart.  Then we pity them.  All too often, we must choose between doing ministry and being around our families.

6.       When people stop attending your church, it will hurt.  No matter how awesome you are, some people will leave.  It is inevitable.  It may have nothing to do with you, but it will always feel personal.

7.       You must fight the urge to compare your ministry to other churches.  You will always lose in the comparison game.  If you compare yourself to a smaller church, you will feel pride.  If you compare yourself to a larger church, you will feel envy.  Both are sinful.

8.       Attacks from inside your church can be worse than those from outside.  You expect attacks from the enemy outside.  It’s the attacks from within, like Judas’ betrayal of Jesus, which absolutely hurt the most.

9.       You will not be discipled or mentored unless you proactively seek it for yourself.  The people who you want to mentor you are quite busy.  Nobody has ever seen my ‘great young potential’ and gone out of their way to disciple me.  Every mentor I ever had in my life I had to pursue myself.

10.     You must fight pessimism, bitterness, and even depression.  You will have seasons of doubt regarding God’s  provision, resentment towards people in your church, or possibly even depression.  One of the darkest years of my life was the result of a bad ministry experience.

11.      Your success in the eyes of others will be measured by how many people you can get in a room.  I wish this weren’t true, but it is.  If your ministry grows, people will praise you.  If it shrinks, they will blame you.  Like it or not, that’s how people think.

12.     You will never be good enough for some people.  No matter what you do, some people won’t like you.  You will never be good enough to please everyone.  You may also often feel inadequate and unprepared in your own eyes.  You must allow this to drive you to a greater dependence on Jesus.  You are not the savior everyone needs; HE is.

13.     Your family will be profoundly affected either good or bad.  Like it or not, your ministry will greatly impact your family.  Some families grow closer to the Lord together in ministry; others grow farther apart.  Ministry will either make your family better or bitter.  Fight bitterness with all your might.

14.     Without a seminary degree, you will be considered less qualified.  I wish I would have pursued seminary earlier in my ministry.  Not just because of perception, but also because the education has been invaluable to me.  You can argue about whether you need it or not, but you will be judged if you don’t.  And not getting proper education might hold you back.

15.     Money might be a problem.  Likely, you will struggle financially—especially early on.  Most pastors are not compensated enough.  You must be ready for this going in.  Will you be OK if you can’t buy new clothes, a nice house, or get your wife and kids the things you wish you could?

16.     You may move many times, especially in certain churches.  The average stay of a pastor at a church varies depending on their role.  However, most pastors I know, including myself, have lived in multiple cities working for multiple churches over their life.  The pastor who works in only one church their entire life is admirable and rare.

17.     When you have to leave a church, you will leave many friends too.  Whether you choose to leave, or the choice is made for you, you will lose more than a job; you lose a church family.  There is always a painful sense of loss when leaving a ministry.  Your wife and kids will also feel it.

18.     Spiritual warfare is real, and the enemy will attack you and your family in ways you never imagined.  Every pastor can tell you stories of crazy things that happen at the worst times.  If Satan cannot derail you, he will go after your family.  My family always gets attacked before God does something great.  Pray often, and ask others to pray for your family too.

19.     You will likely feel discouraged, and think about quitting often.  Most pastors call these days Monday.  Even if things go well on Sunday, the enemy will use just one negative comment to bring you down if he can.

20.    Finally, it will all be worth it!  There is nothing greater than the reward of a life submitted faithfully to Christ.  You may suffer.  It will not be easy, but it will be worth it.  Accepting God’s call to ministry is one of the best decisions I have ever made.  You will have a front-row seat to see many lives changed, marriages healed, and prodigal sons and daughters returning to the faith.  Your ministry impact will outlive your life.  Generations of families will change because you were faithful and did not give up.  If this article sounds too negative, there are also many, many, many reasons I am thankful that to be a pastor.  If this article makes you upset, it should.  Unfortunately, this is the reality most pastors face every day.  Can you relate?  What do you wish someone had told you before becoming a pastor?

It is my prayer that every pastor will have gleaned some measure of comfort in the knowledge that his/her daily ministry struggles are not entirely unique, and that every church member will have gained additional insight into the ‘life’ of your pastor, and thereby offer more consistent and prayerful support.

Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING. Maranatha!