ARE YOU 'MAN' ENOUGH TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON? (Part I)

ARE YOU ‘MAN’ ENOUGH TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON? (Part I)

While this devotional is ostensibly directed toward those of us who occupy the male gender, it will also offer insights and benefits to the women who support and nurture us.  Please forgive me in advance if my tone appears harsh or insensitive.  I do not consider myself to be a judgmental individual, but when I look around in our culture and society, I cannot help but ask this question: “What on earth has happened to the men of this generation?”  When I was a little boy, we were afraid to walk into crowds of men.  Nowadays, men are afraid to walk into crowds of boys.  Somehow, there is a powerful spiritual and emotional disconnect that is clearly reflected in our character, our self-image and our vision for the future.  It is a disconcerting issue that seems to be overwhelmingly preponderant among men.

Men (and boys) are filling up our prisons.  Many of us are not fathering our children.  Many of us are reluctant to embrace faith in God or intimacy with others.  Many of us are entirely hesitant about displaying our emotions or discussing our feelings.  Many of us are tragic victims of various addictions.  Many of us are totally confused about our sexual identity.  It is an alarming and frightening phenomenon.

With your permission, I would direct two questions to every man: 1) “Who are you?” and 2) “What is your character?”  Please consider carefully before you respond…as I remind you that reputation is what others think you are…and character is who GOD knows you are! 

I firmly believe that the greatest weapon our adversary (Satan) can launch against us is ourselves.   So you and I must identify and know our strengths and our weaknesses.  When we do not properly assess the potential for sin that certainly lies within, we will not pray about it.  In other words, if we do not perceive our problems, we will fail to work on them.  That only leaves us vulnerable and open to the attack of the enemy.  When Satan, our enemy, [I Peter 5:8] launches his continual attacks, we must possess both the ability and the will to proclaim confidently to him: “I am a man-of-prayer, and I will be knocked no lower than my knees!”

How did we arrive here?  What are the underlying causes of our present state of being?  In our society, we have the tendency to surround ourselves with images of success in order to shelter our secret fears.  But deep down on the inside of every man dwells the little child who preceded the adult body.  Most of our belief systems (our concepts about people, things, situations and choices), come from our early childhood experiences.  So you and I will never fully understand the men we are on the outside until we can touch the child who resides on the inside.  Ladies, if you want to truly understand the man in your life, you will need to gather details about how things were way-back-when he was raised and grew up.  How did his Mom treat him?  What his relationship with his Dad?  Were there grandparents or other significant adult caregivers in the picture?  What kind of character training and emotional support did he receive, and to what extent did he submit or rebel?  There is a rich deposit of information that lies beneath every man…shaping who he is, influencing how he thinks, motivating what he decides and does…today!  It is a veritable treasure trove of information that is waiting to be mined…by every man and those who covenant with him.

Kingdom Principle Number One: although we encounter early struggles and emerge from troubled places, we court disaster when we carry our childhood perceptions and pains into our adult relationships.

We will no longer allow our past to destroy what God has designed for our present.  But we will never become what we want and need to be, unless and until we can drop what we used to be.  Let it go!  From the biblical perspective, it is the nature of fallen man to hide from God.  Adam sinned; Adam hid.  But when a man hides from His Creator, he only loses himself.  So it bears repetition: We will never become what we want and need to be, unless and until we can drop what we used to be.  In other words, if we want to boldly embrace our future, we must courageously face and handle our past.

Only Jesus (not our best friends, confidantes, or psychiatrists) can walk us through this barrier of time and trouble.  Only Jesus can skillfully and lovingly invade our past with Rhema and divine discernment.  He alone can make us comfortable with our most uncomfortable parts (and open to necessary changes), ultimately positioning us to achieve peace with God and others.  Stay tuned…more to come tomorrow!