ARE YOU 'MAN' ENOUGH TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON? (Part II)

ARE YOU ‘MAN’ ENOUGH TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON? (Part II)

Reflecting on our society, I pose a provocative query: “What has happened to the men of this generation?”  In light of the critical challenges confronting us, men must reflect and respond to two important questions: 1) “Who am I?” and 2) “What is my character?”  The greatest weapon Satan can launch against us is ourselves.   Therefore, we must systematically identify our strengths and our weaknesses.  Why?  When we do not properly assess our own potential for sin, we are ill equipped to pray and guard against it.  This only leaves us vulnerable to the enemy’s attack.  Since most of our belief systems (concepts of people, things, situations, choices), come from childhood experiences, we will never fully understand the men we are on the outside until we touch and transform the child who resides on the inside. 

Kingdom Principle Number One: although we encounter early struggles and emerge from troubled places, we court disaster when we carry our childhood perceptions and pains into our adult relationships.

But God is able to repair our broken places when we are willing to expose them via the scrutiny of His Word and persistent prayer.  This is pivotal to our progress and our survival since we will either allow our Creator continual access and adjustment (or) Satan will ultimately inflict considerable damage and death.  Satan’s task is to destroy us either before we come to Christ or while we clay vessels are the Potter’s wheel. In either case, we have not yet completely apprehended who we are and our significant value to the Kingdom of God.  In a word, Satan seeks to assassinate men before we clearly see and seek God’s plan and purpose.  All of this is further complicated by the fact that there are many people around us who might deny us chances to change. 

Kingdom Principle Number Two: Grace is your birthright; each day of renewed mercy is a fresh opportunity to actualize the man that God intentionally Designed. 

Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the 20^th century theologian and martyr who stood courageously against Adolph Hitler, described “cheap grace” in his powerful book, “The Cost of Discipleship.” Bonhoeffer wrote: “Cheap grace…is grace without price…forgiveness without repentance…baptism without church discipline…grace without discipleship.”  And just as our grace is not cheap, our change cannot be cheap.

Kingdom Principle Number Three: Change is not cheap; it requires the death of the old and the birth of the new.

One reason why I love the heroic biblical figure, David, is that he so closely resembles us and our struggles.  David was a man’s man.  Nevertheless, he did not rely on his own strength or skills.  He did not claim to be a mighty warrior or even a great leader.  He just wanted to serve a mighty God.  In other words, his real strength came from knowing God.  Somehow, David tapped into the truest source of manhood.  His strength did not come from male hormones or a domineering and demanding attitude.  David was humble enough and wise enough to say, “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” (Psalm 61:2)  We men are never stronger than the moments we spend before God, down on our knees.

David succumbed to sin, but David repented. “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10)  The altar is never a place of disgrace; it is a place of grace.

And even though David was a man’s man, he was unafraid of intimacy.  His relationship with Jonathan, King Saul’s son, is an excellent model of true friendship.  It had no homosexual undertones, only authentic and healthy love.  In an age where homosexuality seems to dominate our society, it is sometimes difficult for us to express male-to-male sentiments or demonstrate healthy male bonding.  Unlike women, who seem to so easily embrace and share life experiences and pain, we are too often uptight and closed off.  Men, we desperately need to learn how to honor and celebrate Christ-centered masculinity.  It takes real men to affectionately hug and even to kiss our sons’ cheeks, thereby modeling openness and intimacy that will positively impact both their marital and fatherly relationships in succeeding generations.

Kingdom Principle Number Four: Our sons learn from us.

Even though we might not have received overt fatherly affection, we must discipline ourselves to offer this precious and priceless gift to the next generation.  As men, we must learn how to comfort that hurting boy on the inside so that we can leave an authentic legacy of joy, peace, balance and love to those who emulate our lives and lifestyles.  Men, we are unidentified heroes.  Although we might not realize it, impressionable lads are looking, learning and leaning.  Stay tuned…more to come on Monday!