FORGIVENESS IS MISSION CRITICAL

FORGIVENESS IS MISSION CRITICAL

There is a fascinating story-beneath-the-stories in the Acts of the Apostles.  Its principal characters are Paul, Barnabas and Mark, and the sub-plot involves hurt, disappointment, separation, reconciliation and forgiveness.  Before I explore details of this story, allow me to make an important observation.  If you have never been disappointed by the actions of others (or by your own actions), you are likely living in that gray neutral zone where you neither experience failure nor defeat because you have been paralyzed by fear and you steadfastly refuse to embrace new relationships or experiences.  Think about it.  Disappointment and pain are part and parcel of the human experience.

The downside of focusing on those twin negative experiences is eventual personal frustration.  If there is anything worse than unresolved anger with others, it is inward rage at one’s own self for never trying, never failing and thus never succeeding.  Over time, those inward frustrations and negative feelings become festering wounds, and festering wounds are very dangerous wounds.  You must eat from the garden of your own inner thoughts, so don’t grow anything there that you don’t want to consume, or be consumed by.  You and I must learn how to forgive other ‘HUMAN’ beings; and, our very first step toward accepting the clay feet of others is learning how to forgive ourselves for past errors and transgressions.

Now, on to our story.  Barnabas was the traveling companion of the Apostle Paul and an accomplished co-laborer in the gospel.  Mark was the nephew of Barnabas, and he dearly loved traveling with the great evangelist Paul and his preaching uncle.  Perhaps, there was no kinder person in the New Testament than Barnabas.  You can tell a lot about the character of Barnabas from his name, which means “son of encouragement.”  On the other hand, Paul, the New Testament’s greatest missionary and most prolific author, could have seemed somewhat rigid and inflexible to the youthful Mark.

During one of Paul’s missionary journeys, a course correction moved them inland from Pamphylia to a place that was known to be quite dangerous.  Young Mark spoke loudly by his actions, ‘NO, this place isn’t for me, and this is as far as I’m going!’  So Mark took the ‘first flight’ home, to a more secure environment.

Later, as Paul was planning his next evangelistic expedition, Uncle Barnabas wanted to take Nephew Mark along again.  In so many words, Paul said “Absolutely not - he failed us before and might fail us again!”  Paul and Barnabas ended up separating because of their divergent views and the disagreement that followed.  Nevertheless, I love how the story ends.  In the twilight of Paul’s life, while he on ‘death row’ in Rome awaiting execution by Emperor Nero, it was Mark who served as the courier for important spiritual letters penned by the apostle.  Paul had apparently forgiven Mark and true reconciliation had occurred.  The apostle not only spoke highly of Mark, but he fully trusted him with the delivery of epistles that were destined to become a prominent part of The New Testament.  Wow!

I believe that Mark was on Paul’s heart when the Holy Spirit inspired him to write the following: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

True biblical forgiveness not only pardons the offense, but IT fully restores the offender.  All of us have heard this saying, “I will FORGIVE, but I will never FORGET.”  To be completely transparent, I have said it myself.  But in my times of spiritual self-examination, I had to ask an important question: ‘Lord, am I truly forgiving if I AM WILLFULLY holding and harboring the memory of a misdeed?’  The emphasis here is on “willfully” since we cannot completely control the autonomic function of memory.  Only GOD can truly forget.  I love Hebrews 10:17, where God declares: “Their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.”  Since we lack the capacity to completely forget, we must, as an act of our will, make the decision not to continuously replay the act of offense, via our private meditations and spoken words.

Here are some practical steps I have learned about the process of forgiving:

1. Honestly confess to God your true feelings about the offense and the offender. Ask for His help.
2. As much as humanly possible, stop replaying the act of offense in the mental loop of your thoughts.
3. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts from the Word.  Speak and declare only what the Word speaks and declares.
4. Pray often for the offending party.
5. Refuse to be drawn into gossip pertaining to the offense or the offender.
6. Try to reflect on the good qualities or characteristics of the offending party, and speak them aloud, to yourself and to others.
7. Greet the offending party with sincerity and love.  You do not have to hold extensive conversation with them just yet, but you will eventually ‘feel better’ if you do not try to avoid them.
8. Always consider your own flaws and imperfections.  This keeps you humble and more likely to forgive the flaws and imperfections of others.

Finally, we must never forget: God forgives us in the same manner that we forgive others. (Matthew 6:12;15)

In closing, I am firmly convinced that strife, ill will and division are designed in hell, deployed as satanic tools that can nullify our ability to be unified and cohesive families, both naturally and spiritually.  Remember this: Families are the basic building-blocks of the Kingdom of God.  God wants to transform and show off our relationships as clear reflections of divine love.  To wit, God’s power is on display in us.  When we fail to forgive, we bring joy to the powers of darkness.  When we prayerfully and lovingly forgive, God smiles and divine favor rests upon us.  Thus, genuine forgiveness is mission critical to all we were designed to BE (and DO) in the perfect plan and purpose of God.

Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING.  Maranatha!