DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: A HEARTBREAKING TRAVESTY

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: A HEARTBREAKING TRAVESTY

Global domestic violence is increasing exponentially, both in numbers and intensity.  When I read the following poem by an unknown author, it struck an emotional chord.  Perhaps it will resonate with you.

I got flowers today…
It wasn’t my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn’t mean the things he said,

Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today…
It wasn’t our anniversary or any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me,
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn’t believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he was sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today…
It wasn’t Mother’s Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again,

And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
I’m afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today…
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,

I would not have gotten flowers today.

Domestic violence is a growing global pandemic, but the stark statistics are particularly staggering in the USA.  For example, the number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and 2012 was 6,488. The number of American women who were murdered by current or former male partners during that time frame was 11,766. That’s nearly double the amount of casualties lost during two major wars.

Consider these facts.

4,774,000 = the number of women in the USA who experience physical violence by an intimate partner every year.

1,509 = the number of women murdered by men they knew in 2011.  Of the 1,509 women, 926 were killed by an intimate partner and 264 of those were killed by an intimate partner during an argument.

18,000 = the number of women who have been killed by men in domestic violence disputes since 2003.

1 in 4 = the number of women who will be victims of severe violence by an intimate partner in their lifetimes.

8,000,000 = the number of days of paid work that women lose every year because of the abuse perpetrated against them by current or former male partners.  This loss is equivalent to over 32,000 full-time jobs.

40-45% = the percentage of women in physically abusive relationships who are raped and/or assaulted during the relationship.

25% = the percentage of physical assaults perpetrated against women that are actually reported to police annually.

70x = the amount of times that a woman is more likely to be murdered in the few weeks after leaving her abusive partner than at any other time in the relationship.

10,000,000 = the number of children exposed to domestic violence every year.

It is important to note that in 2 out of 3 female homicide cases, females are killed by a family member or an intimate partner.  Families must be open to discourse and resolution of this issue.  Churches and schools must shed light on it.  Legislative bodies must address it with maximum attention and resources.

A Note to Men Everywhere:  If you are unhappy or unfulfilled in your relationship, why resort to violence in order to communicate or ‘settle’ your differences?  Remember: A woman is God’s gift to be your companion, not your pawn or your property.

A Note to Women Everywhere:  If you are a victim of violence, why empower your attacker by ‘serial forgiveness’ or by your presence, no matter what they are doing to you?  While we are not necessarily advocating divorce, sometimes distance is the only compassionate and logical response to those who would endanger you and/or your children.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).  They are available to provide confidential and anonymous assistance in more than 170 languages…on a 24/7/365 basis.  Their website is www.thehotline.org.  If you are in need of such services, please do not hesitate to call.  Also, feel free to discuss your dilemma with a mandated reporter such as a clergy person, social worker, counselor, or public school educator.

This is an extremely delicate and sensitive issue to discuss.  In truth, it takes all of us out of our comfort zone.  But it is mission critical that we fully engage and understand the ramifications of our relationship decisions.

Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING. Maranatha!