FAMILY FOREVER

FAMILY FOREVER

Three years ago, I traveled to Boston, Massachusetts to support my friend, Pastor Stephen Vaughan, who would render the eulogy at the Homegoing Celebration of his sister, Joanne Vaughan-Webster.  Since it was a funeral gathering, a powerful blend of emotions permeated the atmosphere.  But two things in particular captured my attention.  First of all, I was profoundly impressed by the positive impact Joanne’s life had on hundreds in attendance – from pastors to school superintendents, principals, teachers, co-workers, military personnel, church members and close friends.   Apparently, it was a life well lived.

One thing impressed me even more.  It was the intangible expression of love, intimacy, sincerity and warmth that I discerned emanating so freely from this family.  I felt sure that it was entirely spontaneous and genuine, and I was personally blessed by it.  But I am not naïve enough to believe that this family (or any other) could avoid dealing with the difficulties that are prevalent in any group of people with different dispositions and diverse mindsets.  Our distinctives can be both a curse and a blessing.  Think about it.

During the 3-hour train ride back to New Haven, Connecticut, I reflected on the meaning of family.  What is family?  What is this phenomenon that constitutes such a curious blending of life experiences?  Because, simultaneously, family is a habitation of happiness and a place of pain.  Unquestionably, it represents our legacy of love, but it is can also be blended with feelings of isolation, loneliness, or even rejection.  On the way home, I thought and thought and thought.  And then it occurred to me, like a flash of Rhema from Heaven: Family is a divinely appointed process of purification and maturation.

Much like GOD’S WORD, which cleanses and sanctifies our motives, attitudes and actions, family is also a divine agent of change in the life of every participant.  It may well be that God utilizes Family to shape us, to purge us, to mature us, to transform us – as we proactively embrace its ever present opportunities for nurture, fellowship, friendship and its diametrically opposite potentials for struggle, hurt and division.  I know it might seem to be an odd statement to make, but perhaps GOD did not intend for family to always be an experience of ease.  Because if we allow it to be so, struggle will not define or separate us, it will transform and unite us. 

On the following day, I read an inspirational Facebook posting by my daughter, Kimberly Bass.  She was giving a “shout-out” to her siblings, and reminding them that nothing (even times of disagreement) could ever alter her feelings and commitment to unconditional love.  Wow!  At that moment, I was touched and transformed by Kim’s words.

Bottom-line: Family should be (and must be) a cocoon of mutual acceptance and unconditional love.  Caterpillars develop into butterflies inside cocoons, and so it is with families.  Family is our haven, our refuge, our security, our safety net, our shelter.  To be sure, there are times when we can get on each other’s last nerve, so to speak.  There are times when we are tempted to hang it up and surrender to doubt and despair, times when we can even call into question the worth and wisdom of ongoing relationships.  Yes, there are those times.  But true love consistently calls us back to the bosom of our family.  Indeed, it is a heavenly womb for growing, nurturing and maturing our love.

We are family forever, in time and in eternity.  So never give up.

Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING.  Maranatha!