THE TERRIBLE TWO'S

THE TERRIBLE TWO’S

 Belinda and I have a granddaughter named Savannah whom we love dearly.  Recently, we were recalling Savannah’s social development at the age of two years.  Now she is nine years old.  Unlike the majority of our grandchildren, Savannah was relatively delayed in developing her ability to communicate verbally.  However, ONCE SHE DID, Savannah immediately became large-and-in-charge in every room she entered. 

 We love her very much and would take nothing in exchange for her place in our family and in our hearts.  But Savannah was QUITE A CHALLENGE at the age of two.  She was caught up in the throes of what pseudo-psychologists (like me) call ‘the terrible two’s.’  She was peevishly insistent on having her way with all of us, including with her two siblings, Sydney and Dylan.  Of course, her noisy petulance did not play out very well with them.

 One memorable day, when Savannah had activated her typical agenda of having everything her way, I started processing her behavior from a different perspective, with more insight and revelation.  It dawned on me that Savannah was much like (indeed, JUST LIKE) some members of the institutional church.  After hearing her elders’ words, she systematically selected the directives she wanted to follow.  In this early stage of emotional development, she was completely self-willed and self-absorbed.  Everything was ALWAYS about her personal wishes or perceived needs.

 Nevertheless, in the middle of that day’s testy temper tantrum, something rather marvelous occurred. Belinda picked up Savannah, cradled her gently and whispered softly in her ear, “I love you, sweetie.”  Soon Savannah quieted down and nestled herself in Grandma’s compassionate, caring arms.  It was an incredible  life-lesson for all of us!  Wow!

 Right away, I recalled a devotional I had written and an insightful follow-up comment from a spiritually discerning reader.  Someone responded in a rather hostile manner to something I had written.  And it was not their disagreement, but their tone that troubled me.  The pastor-reader from South Africa wisely suggested that we PRAY for those who exhibit behaviors that feel aggressive or seem divisive to us.  His words caused me to re-examine my own thinking.  “The differences will always be there,” he said, “but I pray they never cloud fellowship and the gospel.”  Profound wisdom.  Instead of becoming perturbed or responding in haste, we should prayerfully seek to understand the speaker and to adjust our own attitudes accordingly. 

 The Apostle Paul offered similar advice to the Church of Galatia: “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, CONSIDERING YOURSELF lest you also be tempted.  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2, NKJV).

 Belinda clearly modeled the way forward for us, i.e. to support Savannah by redirecting her attitude and her actions with consistent, genuine, gentle (yet firm), unconditional love.  Indeed, even while our beloved Savannah was fully ensconced in the terrible two’s, we genuinely loved her, without reservations or conditions.  Dylan and Sydney were far too young to comprehend the emotional nuances that undergird their baby sister’s behavior.  And I do not wish to model their (understandable) immaturity in my dealings with people who also might ‘appear’ to be unkind or contentious.  Rather, I resolve to purposefully emulate my wonderful wife’s wisdom and compassion. 

 So, the next time I interact with someone who seems strident or difficult, I will respond with a radical difference – with much more compassion, with intercessory prayer, with empathy and with genuine awareness of my own faults and shortcomings.  Who knows?  They could be experiencing a SPIRITUAL VERSION OF THE TERRIBLE TWO’S, and they might be in dire need of encountering a loving ‘spiritual adult’ in their room.  Think about it.  Will that be YOU?

 Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET YOUR SOON COMING KING.  Maranatha!