NOONE CAN TELL YOU HOW TO GRIEVE

NO ONE CAN TELL YOU HOW TO GRIEVE

The passing of a friend’s loved one presents a real dilemma of support.  How do we effectively empathize with the loss of another person’s loved one?  We can certainly identify with and sense the pain of a friend who’s experienced a profound loss, but actually somewhat at a distance.  If you have been in that circumstance of trying to offer support, or if you have ever personally lost someone who is near and dear to your heart, you recognize that the typical platitudes which fall so easily from the lips of others who sincerely want to help will typically miss the mark.  Although they genuinely care, other people cannot completely inhabit or share the pain of your unique grief experience.

Nevertheless, the question is begged: ‘Is there an appropriate time frame in which we could or should try to free ourselves from the protracted agony of grief, to make a firm resolution to move forward – always loving, never forgetting, but realizing that eventually life must go on?’

To illustrate, I’ll share a true story about the famed poet, Paul Laurence Dunbar, whose Dayton, Ohio home is open for public visits.  When Dunbar died, his mother left his room exactly as it was on the day of his death.  The desk of this brilliant man held his final poem, handwritten on a note pad.  After his mother died, her friends discovered that Paul Laurence Dunbar's last poem had been lost forever.  How so?  Since his mother had made Paul’s room into a shrine and never moved anything, the bright sunlight had bleached the ink in which the poem was written until it became invisible.  The poem was permanently gone.  

Lesson learned.  No one can rightfully tell you or me how to grieve, or for how long a time, but If we choose to remain in mourning forever, we potentially lose so much of life.  So we will allow the comforting presence of the Holy Spirit to surround and sustain us as we faithfully pursue divine wisdom on how to move forward, just as our cherished loved one would likely desire.

Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING. Maranatha!