Pastor Robert L. Smith shared an interesting experience
with us. He was working with public school children, some of whom were
experiencing difficult behavioral challenges. A while back, one of his
students was completely out of control, absolutely refusing to comport himself
with orderly classroom conduct. Instead of raising his voice, or berating the
student in some way, Pastor Smith wisely employed an alternative
technique. He simply smiled and said, “I think what you really need is a
hug!” Immediately, the young boy broke out into a broad grin. He
hugged his mentor affectionately and thereafter made radical adjustments in his
behavior.
Sometimes we do not achieve positive relational results
because of our erroneous assumptions.
A conflict counselor was enlisted by a parish priest to
resolve a long-standing problem. The relationship between the priest and
the parochial school principal had deteriorated to the point where they could
no longer communicate. The conflict counselor prepared them for a
face-to-face meeting with the following instruction: “Before we get together, I
want both of you to write down what you think the problems are in your relationship.”
The principal and the priest arrived at their first meeting
and sat opposite one another. The counselor asked them to read their
lists.
The priest described the problem from his point of view. “I
feel that the principal resents my presence in the school. I would like
to play a larger role but feel I can’t. I’d especially like to be more
involved in religious education, but I feel pushed out.”
The principal then read his assessment of the situation. “I
feel the priest doesn’t want to get involved in the school. For the life
of me, I can’t understand why he feels that way because we desperately need
him, especially in religious education.”
Wow! So much of conflict has its origins in negative
or false impressions and suppositions about the other party. Wouldn’t it
be much better if we were to see others through the empathetic eyes of grace
and mercy, just as GOD sees us?
It reminds me of a historic setback for Standard Oil, then
one of the largest companies in the world, led by the wealthy industrialist,
John D Rockefeller. A company executive had made a bad business decision
that cost the firm two million dollars, an extraordinary sum in the late 1800s.
A corporate partner, Edward Bedford, had an appointment to
see Mr. Rockefeller. When he entered Rockefeller’s office, he saw his
boss at his desk, bent over a piece of paper, busily scribbling notes.
Mr. Rockefeller finally looked up and said to Bedford, “I suppose
you’ve heard about our loss? I’ve been thinking it over,” Rockefeller
said. “Before I ask the man in to discuss the matter, I’ve been making
some notes.”
Bedford looked across the table and saw the page
Rockefeller had been scribbling on. Across
the top of the page was the heading, “Positive Points in Favor of Mr.
____.” Below that heading was a long list of the employee’s good
qualities, including specific notes about three occasions where he made
decisions that earned the company many times more than the losses from his
recent error.
Bedford never forgot that strategic and gracious
lesson. He remarked, “Whenever I am tempted to rip into anyone, I force
myself first to sit down and thoughtfully compile as long a list of that
person’s good points as I possibly can. Invariably, by the time I finish
this personal inventory, I see the matter in its true perspective and keep my
temper in check.”
What about US? There are hundreds of things that have
the potential to annoy us on a daily basis. However, JESUS CHRIST
admonishes us to handle potential setbacks with wisdom, compassion and
patience. In fact, according to Jesus, “In your patience you possess your
souls.” (Luke 21:19)
So when we are tempted to fly off the handle and react too
swiftly or strongly, let’s just pause for one or two moments. Let’s take
a deep breath and THINK. And exactly what should we think about?
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever
things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be
any virtue, and if there be any praise, think
on these things.
It’s
a spiritual and emotional discipline that will bring blessing and benefit to
all.
Sisters
and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU
ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING. Maranatha!
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