FAMILY
FOREVER
Yesterday, I traveled to Boston, Massachusetts to support
my good friend, Pastor Stephen Vaughan, who gave the eulogy at the Homegoing
Celebration of his sister, Joanne Vaughan-Webster. Since it was a funeral gathering, a powerful blend
of emotions permeated the atmosphere. But two things in particular captured my
attention. First of all, I was profoundly
impressed by the positive impact Joanne’s life had on hundreds in attendance…from
pastors to school superintendents, principals, teachers, co-workers, military
personnel, church members and close friends.
Apparently, it was a life well lived.
One thing impressed me even more. It was the intangible expression of love, intimacy,
sincerity and warmth that I discerned emanating so freely from this family. I felt sure that it was entirely spontaneous
and genuine, and I was personally blessed by it. But I am not naïve enough to believe that
this family (or any other) could avoid dealing with the difficulties that are prevalent
in any group of people with different dispositions and diverse mindsets. Our distinctives can be both a curse and a
blessing. Think about it.
During the 3-hour train ride back to New Haven, Connecticut,
I reflected on the meaning of family.
What is family? What is this phenomenon
that for so many constitutes such a curious blending of life experiences? Simultaneously, family is a habitation of
happiness and a place of pain. Unquestionably,
it represents our legacy of love, but it is can also be blended with feelings
of isolation, loneliness, or even rejection.
On the way home, I thought and thought and thought. And then it occurred to me, like a flash of
Rhema from Heaven: Family is a divinely appointed
process of purification and maturation.
Much like The
Word, which cleanses and sanctifies
our motives, attitudes and actions, family
is also a divine agent of change
in the life of every participant. It may
well be that God utilizes Family
to shape us, to purge us, to mature us, to transform us – as we embrace its ever present opportunities
for nurture, fellowship, friendship and
its diametrically opposite potentials for struggle, hurt and division. I know it might seem to be an odd statement
to make, but perhaps GOD did not intend for family to always be an experience of ease. Because if we allow it to be so, struggle will not define or separate us,
it will transform and unite us.
This morning, I read an inspirational facebook posting
that my daughter, Kimberly Bass, had posted.
She was giving a “shout-out” to her siblings, and reminding them that nothing (even times of disagreement)
could ever alter her feelings and commitment to unconditional
love. Wow! I was touched and transformed by Kim’s words.
Bottom-line: Family should be (and
must be) a cocoon of mutual acceptance and unconditional love. Caterpillars develop into butterflies inside cocoons,
and so it is with families. Family is our haven, our refuge, our
security, our safety net, our shelter. To
be sure, there are times when we can get on each others’ nerves, times when we
are tempted to hang it up and surrender to doubt and despair, times when we can
even call into question the worth and wisdom of ongoing relationships. Yes, there are those times. But true
love consistently calls us back to the bosom of the family. It is a heavenly womb for growing, nurturing
and maturing our love.
No comments:
Post a Comment