THE HUSBAND OF GOD'S DESIGN - PART II

A committed Christian gentleman from South Africa recently submitted this question to me.  “What is the role of a man in a woman's life?”  It is imperative to recognize that The Christian Family if the basic building block in The Kingdom of God.   To briefly recap, we previously explored the following principles:

Kingdom Principle Number One:

FIRST AND FOREMOST, BE CENTERED IN CHRIST.

Kingdom Principle Number Two:

LET LOVE BE YOUR OPERATING PRINCIPLE.

Kingdom Principle Number Three:

BE WISE, BE FOCUSED, BE STRATEGIC, AND BE GOAL-ORIENTED.

On Day Two, we move forward with four additional principles.

Kingdom Principle Number Four:

BE FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT.

In order to maximize our capacity to be the husband of God’s design, we must proactively maintain a positive relationship with Christ.  In order to do so, it is imperative that we be “filled with the Spirit.”  (Ephesians 5:18)  This intimate indwelling of the Holy Spirit, which Christ calls “the spirit of truth,” edifies believers through daily direction and comfort, while empowering believers for Kingdom service.   (John 14:16-17 and Acts 1:8)  The Apostle Paul stated that the Holy Spirit fills us “with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” (Colossians 1:9)  In a word, HE imparts spiritual discernment (heightened awareness and sensitivity regarding ourselves, others, and the things of God), which is indispensable to our role as effective family priests and husbands.

Kingdom Principle Number Five:

SATURATE YOUR PALACE WITH PRAYER AND PRAISE.

It has often been said that “the home is a man’s castle.”  This saying implies a ‘kingly approach’ to family matters.  While Christ indeed confirms that believers are “kings and priests,” when we approach our role as husbands with kingly attitudes and authority, we miss out on opportunities to serve and edify our spouses.  (Revelation 1:6)  Since wives are not our pawns or our property, instead of using a ‘castle metaphor’ to describe the home, I think of the home as a palace in which all parties are beneficiaries of royal treatment.  Whenever I am tempted to assume ‘kingly authority,’ I have discovered that the immediate pursuit of prayer and praise totally changes the atmosphere…by totally changing my perspective.  In our own home, we have a room that is devoted solely to family prayer.  It is necessary that husbands and wives pray together consistently, and that they also spend quality prayer time with their children.  Of course, Word study is an integral component of our ongoing connection with Christ. These key spiritual fundamentals will result in a total saturation of our palace with the presence and power of Christ.

Kingdom Principle Number Six:

AS A MAN, NEVER FEAR MUTUAL SUBMISSION.

Most men are quick to recite Ephesians 5:22, which requires wives to submit to their husbands.  However, it is of vital importance to read and incorporate the truth of the verse that comes right before it (Ephesians 5:21), which says “submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”  This scripture verse clearly mandates mutual submission.  If we men MUST consider ourselves as kings, then our spouses are queens.  And since we husbands are scripturally designated as family priests, we must resist the impulse to become “lords over God’s heritage.” (I Peter 5:3)  The process of mutual submission involves what I call the ministry of listening.  God gave us two ears and only one mouth.  The implication is that we should listen…at least twice as much as we speak.  When we exercise self-discipline, which is one of the fruit of the Spirit, we will learn to hear the hearts of our spouses. (Galatians 5:23)  We must actively participate in the maintenance of our houses.  One of the greatest lessons I have learned as a husband is serving my wife.  There are a host of benefits that are accrued from willing and cheerful service.  One of the more obvious is the joy that this brings to the wife, which increases the joy that the wife displays while attending to her husband’s needs.  Mutual submission might be culturally abhorrent to some, but it is indeed the tone and tenor of the gospel.  Remember this:  Mutual submission is much easier when both partners submit (first) to Jesus Christ.  After all, HE is a key partner in the marriage covenant; so don’t forget to consciously and conscientiously include HIM.  

Kingdom Principle Number Seven:

LOVE YOUR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVES HIS CHURCH.

This is a challenging requirement for all of us since it seems virtually impossible to emulate either the quality or quantity of divine love.  Think about it.  God-in-Christ had sufficient love to reconcile the entire world to Himself. (II Corinthians 5:19)  This constituted an act of absolute sacrifice…a free and full offering of His life for the benefit of man’s salvation.  Since the Word commands husbands to love wives in a similar manner, what should be our practical response?  Just like Christ, we must “sanctify” our marital covenant (and its participants) via The Word.  And we must love our wives, just as much as we cherish our own lives and bodies. (Ephesians 5:25-29)  In practical terms, this means that the husband is the covering, defender and protector of the wife.  This means that the husband is Provider-in-Chief.  We must be ready, able and willing to provide for the total needs of our families: spiritually, emotionally and financially.  This requires the utmost in determination, diligence, patience and persistence.  Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed and stay tuned…more to come tomorrow!