THE HUSBAND OF GOD'S DESIGN - PART III

A Christian brother from South Africa submitted this question to me.  “What is the role of a man in a woman's life?”  It is imperative that we recognize that The Christian Family is the basic building block of The Kingdom of God.  As such, we must carefully attend to the overall health and happiness of our marriages and our families.  To briefly recap, on Day One and Day Two of this devotional series, we explored the following:

Kingdom Principle Number One:

FIRST AND FOREMOST, BE CENTERED IN CHRIST.

Kingdom Principle Number Two:

LET LOVE BE YOUR OPERATING PRINCIPLE.

Kingdom Principle Number Three:

BE WISE, BE FOCUSED, BE STRATEGIC, AND BE GOAL-ORIENTED.

Kingdom Principle Number Four:

BE FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT.

Kingdom Principle Number Five:

SATURATE YOUR PALACE WITH PRAYER AND PRAISE.

Kingdom Principle Number Six:

AS A MAN, NEVER FEAR MUTUAL SUBMISSION.

Kingdom Principle Number Seven:

LOVE YOUR WIFE AS CHRIST LOVES HIS CHURCH.

Today, we culminate this devotional series with three powerful principles.

Kingdom Principle Number Eight:

CHERISH YOUR WIFE AND NURTURE AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.

Christ’s requirement that husbands “love their wives as their own bodies” is visibly manifested whenever we NOURISH and CHERISH of our wives in the same way that JESUS loves and nurtures His own bride, The Church.  Let there be no doubt: LOVE IS A VERB.  True love is far more than an emotion.  Love is a Spirit…because GOD IS LOVE. (I John 4:8)  HE motivates and mobilizes us to become proactive partners in the covenantal grace of marriage.

The question is begged: ‘In a practical level, HOW do we cherish and nurture our wives?’  In other words, what does that kind of love look like (on a daily basis) and how is it made real in our relationships?

The answer is quite simple.  Christ’s foundational principle (commonly called The Golden Rule) must be fully operational within the marriage covenant.  “As ye would that [your spouse] should do to you, do ye also to [her/him] likewise.” (Luke 6:31)  Mutual respect is a necessary prerequisite for fulfilling Christ’s marital mandate.  Mutual trust is another important key.  mutual service is an indispensable component.  When these three are applied systematically (in concert), the result is always mutual affection and intimacy. 

There can be no bonafide or fulfilling intimacy in the presence of harsh and hateful spirits.  I repeat: There can be no bonafide or fulfilling intimacy in the presence of harsh and hateful spirits.  Whenever we genuinely cherish and nurture of our wives, we fully mobilize “the fruit of the Spirit” within the marriage covenant: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, [and] temperance.” (Galatians 5:22-23)  Marriage is a mystical and spiritual phenomenon whereby two become one.  When Adam first laid his eyes on Eve, he declared “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh.” (Genesis 2:23)  In recognition of the presence of their Creator and in realization of the spiritual significance of their marital covenant, our foreparents were able to be “naked…and not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:25)  Truthfully, there is no other relationship on earth that creates or sustains this level of mutual trust, respect, communication and intimacy.

Kingdom Principle Number Nine:

LEAVE YOUR BIRTH-HOME (FULLY)…AND CLEAVE TO YOUR WIFE.

In order to sustain a scriptural and successful marriage, it is necessary to depart and detach one’s self from home.  Think about it.  Abram could not become “Abraham” or realize his divine purpose and destiny within the womb of his birth-home. (Genesis 12:1-4)  Neither could Jesus walk in the fullness of his earthly mission and ministry within the confines of his birth-home.  Jesus reported that “a prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.” (Matthew 13:57)

Of course, leaving home does not diminish respect and regard for one’s parents or siblings.  It merely positions your marriage in its rightful place of absolute priority.  Therefore, the marriage covenant demands a leaving (from the birth-home) and a cleaving (to the wife).

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. (Mark 10:6-8)

It goes without saying that we husbands must take care of and provide for our wives and families.  To wit, our God-given assignment is to be household provider and family priest.  However, we can only grow up and develop into this divinely destined role in absentia from our parents.  Indeed, it is impossible for us to become men if we hold steadfastly to our mother’s aprons or to our father’s coat tails.  Regard them.  Respect them.  But move-out and move-on to fulfill the unique destiny that GOD has in store for you and your spouse.

Kingdom Principle Number Ten:

DISCOVER THE THREE-DIMENSIONAL UNION AND POWER OF UNITY.

Fundamentally, three tiers of union comprise the marriage covenant.  These are distinctive covenant bonds like none other…spiritual, emotional and physical…bonds of love.  Genuine and enduring UNITY only takes place when all three are actualized simultaneously.  This mystical ‘joining together’ of husband and wife is of divine origin. The Word of God confirms this: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. " (Ephesians 5:31)

On a practical note, WE must make it happen!  Proactive partnership in marriage means that both spouses work diligently (day and night) to achieve all of God’s purposes.  Remember: The Family is the basic building block of the Kingdom of God.  As such, our marriages and our families potentially become viable and visible representations of Heaven-on-Earth.  There is an awesome power that is released from such loving and lasting unions that will save our children and bless every generation that follows.  Bottom-line: Are we fully cooperating with God’s plans and purposes in the daily execution of our marriage covenant?  Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed!