WORKING YOUR WAY
THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS (Part I)
As we begin this
series, allow me to state the obvious. It is never ever easy to lose a
loved one. Of course, the Word of God will be our ultimate guide as we
consider this topic, but we will also draw heavily upon the works of Elisabeth
Kubler-Ross, M.D., a recognized expert in the research of death and dying.
According to Dr.
Kubler-Ross, following the initial shock that one experiences when learning of
the passing of a loved one, there are FIVE STAGES IN THE GRIEVING PROCESS:
-DENIAL
-ANGER
-DEPRESSION
-BARGAINING
-ACCEPTANCE
Dr. Kubler-Ross
found that all people react to the initial news of death in nearly identical
ways, namely with shock and disbelief. This is the beginning of the
DENIAL process, which lasts from a few seconds to many months, varying from
individual to individual. This denial is never a total denial.
After all, the individual typically ‘believes’ that a death has occurred, but
there is also a veneer of disbelief that their loved one is gone, even in cases
of acute or terminal illness, where death seems to be possible or probable.
After the initial
denial, anger or rage tend to dominate the emotions of those who lose loved
ones. Sometimes this anger is justifiable due to the responses of medical
staff, family, or friends, who unknowingly ‘trivialize’ loss and grief by
employing empty platitudes, or by trying to control an individual’s response to
such a major loss. Sometimes the anger is irrational, and grieving
individuals cannot wrap their brains around the reasons why they are feeling
that way. However, when others can tolerate these outbursts of anger, its
duration is much shorter and more moderate in temperament and tone.
The Word of God
instructs the believer: “Do not cast away your confidence” in Christ’s ability
to intervene and address any area of our lives. (Hebrews 10:35) You can
accomplish this as you are in the process of “casting all your care upon HIM,
for HE cares for you.” (I Peter 5:7)
Stay tuned…more to
come tomorrow.
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