WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS (Part II)

WORKING YOUR WAY THROUGH THE GRIEVING PROCESS (Part II)

It’s important to note that the grieving process is not restricted to the loss of a loved one through death.  Grieving also arises from other life crises which produce substantial personal pain, such as receiving a negative health report and prognosis, or experiencing a relationship break-up or divorce.

These life situations can trigger the same grieving process, or a slight variation of the same:

-DENIAL
-ANGER
-DEPRESSION
-BARGAINING
-ACCEPTANCE

We should also be aware that these stages may not appear in this exact order, and, they may overlap.  Also, once experienced, any or all of them may reoccur.  This is one way that 'outsiders' should seek to understand and minister to the powerful ups-and-downs of the emotional healing process.  Some days might feel like the mourner has achieved emotional balance.  The very next day (or the following week) could feel like the pain has started all over again.  Grieving is an emotional roller-coaster.  And the ‘passenger’ is left wondering, ‘When will it ever end?’

The unpredictable nature of the grieving process produces strong feelings of anxiety, stress, loneliness, and/or confusion.  These feelings are heightened in the presence of significant others who seem to suggest (verbally and non-verbally), ‘Why can’t you just move on and put all of this behind you?’

Yesterday’s devotional briefly alluded to the first two stages of the grieving process, DENIAL and ANGER. Let’s take a brief look at the next one.  It is likely that DEPRESSION is the most dangerous phase of the entire process.  It produces considerable physical and emotional unbalances, which are both chemical and spiritual in nature.

I clearly recall an overwhelming sense of depression following the death of my wife in 2002.  Clearly, those closest to me were concerned as they inquired about my welfare: “Are you alright?  How are you feeling?’  Like many others, my cut-and-dried response was simply, “Fine.  I’m o.k.”  However, the truth was that I felt like climbing into the bed, covering my head with a blanket and never getting up.  I was more quiet and reserved than usual.  At times, ordinary communication felt absolutely painful.  This is a dangerous place for any person to be.

I am a believer and an optimist by nature.  Therefore, I am happy to report that suicidal thoughts never knocked at my door.  But for many people, such a time of deep depression can become a deadly force.  So, what can be done about it?  First, surrounding one’s self with the community of faith is mission critical to overall health.  Also, participating in grief counseling can mobilize ‘ownership’ of one’s feelings - while laying out a process for working one’s way back (or forward) to a NEW NORMAL.  Life will never be the same.  But that’s not necessarily a terrible or tragic thing.  Here is the good news: LIFE CAN AND WILL BE BETTER!  The Lord rescued me in so many ways, but the ‘best part’ was a wonderful woman named Belinda, who would become my wife, best friend and ministry partner.  Remember: God always has a ‘Plan B’ – even if you don’t.  Wait for it; wait on Him.  Stay tuned…more to come tomorrow.

Sisters and brothers, be continually blessed, and please (above all else) MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY TO MEET OUR SOON COMING KING.  Maranatha!