NURTURING
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
It is
my personal conviction that the family is
the basic building block of the Kingdom of God. In a word, the family is our spiritual womb of origin, i.e. the
premier place where supernatural relationships are developed, nurtured and
sustained.
Before
dawn this morning, we received a telephone call that awakened us. The mother of my wife’s deceased (first) husband
passed away a few hours ago. The family
members who phoned were concerned if they had visited her often enough during an
extended time of illness.
This
emotional event triggered a deep conversation about the importance of family and the need to stay connected at
all times, through sunny days and rough patches as well. As one of my closest friends jokingly says “Life
goes by so quickly that before you know it you’re dead!” There is a great deal of sobering truth in my
friend’s modest attempt at humor.
Bottom-line:
Life is far too short to allow
emotional wounds to fester because we are fearful, unforgiving or otherwise anxious
about attending to them. We have a
shared responsibility to quickly resolve the family conflicts that occur perennially
since human beings are
involved. Along with that, we should never
neglect visiting and loving on family members who might be struggling – the
sick, the infirmed, the elderly, those who have fallen onto hard times, or those
who have gotten into trouble.
The following family story is the
experience of an unknown author in Pakistan.
It reminds us of the necessity to engage and commune with loved ones,
immediately and often.
After 21 years of marriage, my wife
wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie.
She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of career and children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite Mom to an evening outing with me.
“What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked with apparent concern. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that an unexpected phone call or a surprise invitation is definitely a sign of bad news.
“I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.”
She thought about it for a moment and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed a little nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.
“I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our time together.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. As we entered, my mother took my arm as if she were The First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu since her eyes could only see large print. Half-way through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mother sitting there staring at me with a nostalgic smile was on her lips.
“It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were a child,” she said.
“Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.
During our dinner, we had a very agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we actually missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home.
“Very nice, much more so than I would have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that we didn’t have a chance to do anything for her.
A short while afterwards, I received mail from the same place where we had dined. It included a copy of a restaurant receipt and an attached note from my mother that said:
“I paid this dinner bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there, so I paid for two plates, one for you and the other for your wife. Son, you will never know what our night out meant to me. I love you very much.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying ‘I love you’ and giving our loved ones all the time that they need and deserve.
Amen. Amen. Amen. I am in total agreement with this author’s observations because nothing in life is more indispensable than family. So we must freely bestow upon loved ones our most precious and priceless possession, our time, because the most important things in life should never be put off until ‘someday.’
She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of career and children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite Mom to an evening outing with me.
“What’s wrong, are you well?” she asked with apparent concern. My mother is the type of woman who suspects that an unexpected phone call or a surprise invitation is definitely a sign of bad news.
“I thought it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.”
She thought about it for a moment and then said, “I would like that very much.”
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up, I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed a little nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.
“I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car. “They can’t wait to hear about our time together.”
We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. As we entered, my mother took my arm as if she were The First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu since her eyes could only see large print. Half-way through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mother sitting there staring at me with a nostalgic smile was on her lips.
“It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were a child,” she said.
“Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.
During our dinner, we had a very agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we actually missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.
“How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home.
“Very nice, much more so than I would have imagined,” I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that we didn’t have a chance to do anything for her.
A short while afterwards, I received mail from the same place where we had dined. It included a copy of a restaurant receipt and an attached note from my mother that said:
“I paid this dinner bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there, so I paid for two plates, one for you and the other for your wife. Son, you will never know what our night out meant to me. I love you very much.”
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying ‘I love you’ and giving our loved ones all the time that they need and deserve.
Amen. Amen. Amen. I am in total agreement with this author’s observations because nothing in life is more indispensable than family. So we must freely bestow upon loved ones our most precious and priceless possession, our time, because the most important things in life should never be put off until ‘someday.’
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